Family Systems and Dynamics

 In my Family Relations class today, my Professor brought something up that intrigued me. He showed us a video of a big Rube Goldberg that was an advertisement for Honda. That wasn't the important part, but afterwards, he explained how family systems can be like Rube Goldberg machines. Every single piece matters, and if one piece or part fails, so does the whole mechanism. So when you relate this to families, every member of the family has a role. The parents are typically the leaders. They raise us, teach us life skills, and help us to become the best person we could possibly be before we're out living on our own. A few other roles/classifications can include things like troublemaker, peacemaker, Class-clown, or reliable one.  I have seen examples of this in my own family. 

    My oldest brother took the role of Troublemaker in his Childhood. He got in trouble in the most creative ways you could think of. He had countless detentions in school, and he's insanely stubborn. Fast forward to his mission. Because he was so creative and stubborn, he used those forces for good. If people ever turned him down while on his mission, he would take it as a challenge and use that to improve upon his next encounter with a possible investigator. Fast forward to after his mission, he works in door to door sales now. Every now and then his company will have a week-long competition to see which salesman can get the most sales. Every single day he would be out there for hours and hours in 100+ degree weather, and he wouldn't give up until he was sure he had the most sales for the day. Looking over his life, he has used the role he had in our family to better himself and to provide for his family in ways that others couldn't. 

    Something else I've observed over the past few years is how the family can change based off of the eldest sibling. My oldest sibling is my sister who is super responsible, spiritually intune, and the purest person you'll ever meet. While she was living at home, everyone was pretty responsible. When my "troublemaker brother was the eldest after my sister moved out, we were a bit more rambunctious, but harder working. When my next eldest brother was the oldest in the house, he has a  happy-go-lucky attitude and is always smiling, but is often a bit oblivious. So the family was all happy and cheery, but a lot of times things wouldn't get done. Now when I took over being the Eldest in the house, I'm pretty laid back and quiet, so I observed that my younger siblings were also pretty quiet and there were never really any fights. I think it is so interesting how the eldest role model can influence the way a family dynamic works. 

    Something else interesting about Family Dynamic is observing how emotionally healthy a family is based on the relationship between the Mother and the Father. When the Mom and Dad love and care for each other and they never or rarely argue with each other, that rubs off on the family. The kids grow up to be in better standing with their parents and siblings, and I think they're just emotionally and mentally better off. This isn't necessarily scientific proof of this point, but I did see an example of how parent relationships affect a family on a TV show. The Mom and Dad were in a bad relationship, and the Mom eventually disappeared and left the family. The Dad was left to raise them, and the family ended up being very dysfunctional. The Siblings parted ways after they moved out and it took many many years just for them to be okay with talking to each other again. So I personally believe that just observing a Mother and Fathers relationship with each other can either make or break a family.

    Overall, there are so many different factors that make a family what it is. Just one person can influence a family either for better or worse. It's important to understand how the Family Dynamic and systems work so that we can stive to have a successful and happy family ourselves.

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