Family Under Stress

 In my past blog posts, we've talked about many aspects of Family. Dating and courtship, Marriage, Sexual Relations, but now I'm going to be talking about the Family under stress. Every Family has rough moments, but there are certain ways to handle these rough patches in a way that can preserve your relationship with the most important people in your life. 

    In class today, my professor said something that I thought was pretty cool. The word "Crisis" in Chinese Characters are "Danger" and "Opportunity." I find that almost poetic. Sometimes the very dangers we want and try to avoid are the exact opportunities we need in order to improve our family. Some stressors for a family could be after the Honeymoon Phase. During the Honeymoon Phase, you're absolutely smitten with your partner, They're perfect in every way and there is nothing they could do to ever hurt you. Eventually, that phase will end. That doesn't mean you don't love them more than anything in the world, but in reality, the phase has to end in order for us to be productive human beings again. So when the Honeymoon phase finally does end, the constant stresses and duties of life come back. You're reminded of all the things you are needing to do, and on top of running a family now, it can burn some people out. This is the first crisis in a family. It's important not to let this uproot your relationship, cause most likely, it'll just get harder from here. Don't let anything I say be discouraging though. A relationship is 100% worth any hardships you could go through as a couple. One of the best things you can do to overcome these stressors is to talk to your partner/kids about them. Come up with a plan on how you're going to come out on top, and how you can do it in a way that doesn't hurt any of your relationships. If you are going through something that can't be solved on your own, do not be afraid to seek the help you need. Depending on the circumstance, the thing you need help with could be embarrassing or even shameful, but is it worth losing your family and relationships over just because you were too scared to do anything about it? 

    A well-known model to demonstrate stressors and coping mechanisms for families is called the ABCX Model. What this stands for is A, Actual event, or the stressor Event. B, Both Resources, or the resources that are available to the family. C, Cognitions, the way that we think or perceive the crisis. X, Total Experience, the likelihood of a crisis. This model is used to reflect on our real lives and see how we can change or improve our circumstances. With this model, we can know how to control our resources and how to apply them. So we can use letters B and C to determine if A is actually a crisis. When you can determine the severity of the crisis, that will further help you to be able to overcome it. 

    Overall, everybody has hard times. However, the hard times aren't what matters, but how we handle them. It's very important to communicate and exercise self-control when overcoming challenges. When we do this, we will be able to grow stronger with our partner and family.